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  “I hate to be the fly in the ointment and all, but I really think you should leave.” Her tone was harder, fighting against the sensations that she fought to overcome. She squirmed in his arms, hoping he would take the hint, but he ignored the unsubtle suggestion, tightening his arms in response. Not what she expected, or wanted, she told herself.

  “No, Jem. We need to talk, and this is the best place for it.”

  He put her down on the bed, propping a pillow under her leg, and immediate relief flowed through her system. Talking...talking was okay... She could survive that.

  A red tide rose up his cheeks as he sat in the chair beside her bed. He looked down for a moment, and she got the impression he was trying to find the words, or at least the right ones, and she was intrigued. He had a silver tongue, and she’d never seen him at a loss for words. For God’s sake, Jemma, stop being so fanciful! He was, after all, the right-words-every-time man.

  “Jem, when I heard the transmission, I nearly died. I know I haven’t really made any moves. My excuse was that I wanted you to have time to settle in to the changes. Now...” He stopped, taking a deep breath, and she could see the heavy rise and fall of his chest encased in the dark uniform. “I don’t want to waste another minute with you. Standing back has nearly left me without you at all, and that’s just not right.”

  She could see the uncertainty in his eyes. Uncertainty? The knowledge that he felt uncomfortable and uncertain stunned her.

  “Raven? I don’t know what to say. I mean, you’ve hinted but you never seemed ready to take that step. I didn’t really think you were that interested in me.” She gulped. “Don’t get me wrong, I think you’re tremendously sexy and all, but I’m not a keeper. Know what I mean? I’d love to be with you, but you need to understand going in, I don’t know how to do the long-term thing in relationships.” He opened his mouth, but before he could form any words, she laid a finger on his lips. “It’s important to me that you know. I don’t want to lie to you or give you some kind of a false impression.”

  She told herself it was better she told him clearly and upfront. No one else knew better than her that she wasn’t a person other people kept. She was only ever a temporary thing. He had to understand that. For heaven’s sake, even her own mother had written her off as temporary. She straightened in her bed.

  “No. You’re wrong. You’ve had a rough time, but Jem, I want forever.”

  She could see the earnest in his face. “Raven, I can’t. This is hot and sexy, but short term. I can tell you honestly, I so want you, but it will only last until it ends on either side. Either you or I will grow out of this— ” She waved her hand in the air. “—relationship, thing. That’s all there is. For me that’s all there can be.”

  “No, you’re wrong. Do not limit us before we even begin. Give us a chance to be more.” His voice was deep, his face tight, and her chest ached at the thought of causing him pain. “Let me show you.”

  “You’re deluding yourself where we’re concerned. Forever is for Mellissa and Duvall. One day you will find your forever too. But for now, yeah, I want in.” She watched him intently. “I can be in for as long as this works for us. But I’m a no-strings-attached sort of girl.” She kept her voice low and even. If I were a forever kind of woman, this is the man I’d want.

  But she knew to take a good thing when it was offered and make the most of it. She smiled at him, pushing her hair to one side and lifting a hand. He moved closer, out of his chair and onto the side of the bed.

  “Give it a chance, Jem. You might find it is forever.”

  “No, Raven, but I will give you me, for as long as you want me.”

  He shook his head. “No go, but here’s a different deal. Don’t write it off before it starts, right? Give it a chance to be much more than just a fling. Keep an open mind and it might just surprise you.” He smiled at her, the sexy glint back in his deep-blue eyes.

  She sat for a moment, her thoughts whirling, but the overriding feeling was that he wanted her. What could be simpler? She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath and feeling her lungs expand, held it, and let the breath whoosh out. She opened her eyes and smiled. “I’m game if you are.”

  He leaned in toward her, smiling, then stopped and looked into her eyes. “I want you, but you need time. And so do I. Time to learn about each other.” He leaned in closer, and she squeaked when a twinge of pain in her back bit hard. “Time to heal from your injuries.” His warm breath tickled her lips.

  She licked her lips, and his eyes darkened. Her breathing slowed as the delicious scent of man invaded her senses, and languor spread. He leaned closer, taking great care not to crowd her, and lightly touched his lips to hers.

  “But I do need to taste you,” he whispered, so close to her that she could feel the words against her skin.

  Her body ached for him. She reached out, but he intercepted her arms, pushing them down by her sides. Once more, his lips touched hers lightly, like the barest brush of butterfly wings, and her eyes closed. She felt him pull away but didn’t fight it.

  When she opened heavy eyelids and glanced at him, his eyes shined brightly. He smiled and leaned toward her.

  His hands left her arms and pushed her back against the pillows. Jemma grabbed his hands. Always before, she had been aggressive in her passion, but with this man, she was slow and unhurried. She let her lips part just as they reached his, and this time she softly placed her lips against his, flicked his lips with her tongue, and waited for him to open them. She felt the rumble of his laughter against her mouth as he moved to pull back. She really wanted his arms wound around her, but instead he merely leaned down and plunged his tongue within her mouth.

  The kiss turned red-hot, scorching her in its intensity as she surrendered to him. She moaned against his lips and reached for his shoulders, tugging him closer to her. For a moment, she felt she would burst into flame, then once more he pulled back. Her breathing had accelerated along with her heartbeat, and when she opened her eyes, she was gratified to see that he was almost as unsteady as she was.

  He rested his forehead on hers as they both caught their breath. Finally, with a sigh, he moved away awkwardly, rising without his usual grace.

  “Jem, you need to sleep, and if I stay, this will go so much further than either of us is ready for. But don’t think I don’t want you, because I do. Very much, as you can now see.”

  His eyes were smoky with passion, and his voice a deep rasp. He watched her for a minute then turned toward the door.

  “Elara says you’re off duty for the next few days, and so am I, so I’ll swing by at 0800 hours. Be ready. I have vids in my cabin, and I think a quiet, relaxing day is in order. Now sleep, my sweet Jem.” He turned, opened the door, and just before closing it, looked back and said, “Dream of us.”

  The door shut behind him, leaving Jemma in a state of arousal, reclining on the bed, considering his actions and words. I am so in trouble. The thought worried her as she lay in the half-light.

  It took a long time for sleep to come.

  * * * *

  Jemma was just getting out of bed when the door opened, and in walked Raven. “Good morning, beautiful. I thought you would need help, so here I am.” He grinned at her as he made his way over to the bed to help her up. She looked at his twinkling eyes and broad smile.

  “I need to see Elara before anything else,” she groused, watching him pull fresh clothes from the pile that had been deposited on the desk.

  “I know that, but you’re going to want to shower first, so grab these clothes and off you go. I’ll wait here in case you need help.” She made to reach for the clothing he offered, but instead he gripped her, propelling her forward into his arms as his head dipped. “But before you do, I need my good-morning kiss.”

  His mouth settled over hers, his lips soft and the kiss passionate enough to cloud her mind. She moaned deep in her throat as his tongue explored and tangled with hers. She clutched him closer, needing to feel his hard body ag
ainst hers.

  Slowly, he pulled away, and she lifted heavy lids to see that he was not unaffected either. They stood together for a minute, then—regretfully, she could see—he pushed the clothes into her arms and gently propelled her to the door of the bathroom. His actions confused her. He claimed to want her, but each time he ratcheted up the heat, he left her dangling.

  “I’ll be right here if you need me to wash your hair, or back, or....” His words held a promise as he shut the door behind her.

  She couldn’t control the laugh that echoed in the tiny ablution room.

  She showered quickly, her body aroused from his nearness and the scorcher of a kiss, while thoughts of what he was up to raced around in her head. She closed her eyes as the water sluiced over her naked body, leaning into the stinging spray. With a sigh, she reached over and turned it off. The precious supply required her to be sparing, and for a moment she clung to the fond memories of long, hot showers in her past.

  Thank goodness the frame around my leg is waterproof, she thought as she toweled and dressed. Once she’d slipped into the ship suit he’d handed her, she turned to the mirror, running a brush through her hair and taking the tablet that would clean her teeth more efficiently than a brush had ever done. She grinned. Another chore that didn’t need to be dealt with, she told herself.

  Absently, she noted the circles beneath her eyes and the paleness of her skin. She’d certainly lost some weight lately, she thought, turning to the side. However, even without a bra her breasts were still high and firm, though on the small side.

  Casting a last look at her face, she grimaced. Well, for a woman who always dressed for passion and an eye on the main game, the ship suit really did not do much for her, but it was as good as she was going to get. She thought longingly of the jeans and skimpy tops she had in her closet and the lacey lingerie she had amassed before her transfer to the future. He hasn’t seen anything yet. Wait ’til he gets a look at me in a demi-bra and thong. They always tipped the balance in my favor. The thought put a smile on her face. Wait until she got back to the Star of Ishtar.

  “How in hell am I going to write my report telling Vors I lost my ship?” Shit. Her arse was so cooked when that report was received. Once more, she had managed to mess up a good thing. “Damn!”

  She shook herself. There was nothing she could do about it right now, and Raven was waiting outside. The longer she lingered in here, the sooner he would walk in and start asking what was up, and that was something she didn’t want to have happen. Not yet. She wanted the atmosphere to be just right. Time to put on that happy face, she reminded herself. Remember, you can rely on you and no one else. She pinched her cheeks lightly and was amused to see the color rising in them. Jemma put on her brightest smile as she reached over to open the door.

  * * * *

  “Good morning, Elara. Where would you like us?” Jemma said as she and Raven walked through the door holding hands.

  “Raven, you can wait in my office. Jemma, come through to the consulting room please.” She indicated a small doorway, and Jemma breathed a silent sigh of relief as she followed the petite Elara. The door closed behind them, and she sat on the diagnostic bed. “How are you feeling this morning?”

  “Not too bad, thanks. Still a few twinges and aches, but I guess that’s to be expected. Those pain meds worked the trick, but I suppose you already knew that too.” She watched as Elara picked up the diagnostic palm screen. Once more the band extended over her, but as she waited quietly all she could hear was hmm’s and yes’s.

  “Your results are looking good. I think we need to keep the regen units on you for another day, but the healing process is coming along nicely. Also, we can dispense with the supports for your leg now.” She smiled at Jemma as the band retracted back into the wall, and Elara removed the supports around her leg. Jemma sat up on the diagnostic bed, ready to get down, when Elara placed a hand on her arm. “But I do want to have a quick word with you before you leave and Raven comes in.”

  “Sure, what can I help you with?”

  “It’s more a case of how can I help you. I need to know if you’re planning to use any contraceptive control. I’m not trying to pry. This is one of the aspects of being the ST, and I ask everyone who joins the crew. It is something you need to consider if you plan on engaging in activities with someone. I can see here that you don’t have anything on file.” She tapped something on her palm screen.

  “Umm, that would be because I’m not currently involved with anyone. However, that may change.” So what if Elara reported back to Duvall?

  “Have you considered conception control though?” Her words were level and quiet, and for just a moment, Jemma wanted to ask what if she didn’t chose to use any contraceptive. But reality reared its head, and she subsided. She wouldn’t jeopardize her future. Couldn’t. Besides which, she wasn’t cut out for motherhood.

  “Well, yes I have, and no, I’m not using anything currently. I do need to do something about contraception, I guess.” She didn’t want to discuss this with Elara—after all, she was a member of the same crew as Raven—but it was a fact that she needed to consider it as she had previously in her own time.

  “So do you want to go ahead and start on a course? I can have the implantation completed immediately if you like, but only if you are happy with it. Do you understand how it works?”

  “Yeah, you implant using transmission technology. It’s good for six months, unless I want it removed before then. I get that. Side effects?” Jemma rattled off what she had learned in the academy.

  “Not many. The odd double vision, some nausea, but they’re rare and the hormones were updated in the last few months, so we have minimal issues now. But if you do experience any side effects, you need to return to me and I can remove the implant.”

  “How long until it takes effect?”

  “Pretty much immediately. In some cases the hormones take up to forty-eight hours, but that’s rare, and we can check to see if you’re one of the unlucky ones with that susceptibility.”

  “Sure, get it done then,” Jemma answered.

  She liked sex, had no qualms about her sensuality. A fling was one thing, but a baby was something completely different. It sure didn’t figure into her lifestyle or plans. She remembered the old adage—there are bold pilots and old pilots, but very few old and bold pilots. If something happened to her, her child would be alone, left to fend for itself, and that she would never do. Just for a moment, she had considered the possibility of parenting, but not with any real dedication or conviction. That was never meant to be her future. As she had told Raven, she didn’t do forever.

  The testing complete, Elara administered the implantation, letting her go join Raven and leave for the mess hall with the injunction to pop back in the following day.

  They left the SurgiTech suite, walking side by side in companionable silence up the clanking deck, stairs, and finally to the mess hall. They served themselves and found an empty booth as Mellissa and Duvall walked in. They both seemed so happy, Jemma noted, looking at the sparkle in Mellissa’s eyes and Duvall’s arm around her waist. Wistfulness lanced her quickly through the heart.

  “They look really happy.” She turned to Raven, who was watching her.

  “Yeah, they do, don’t they? That’s what I’d like, one day.” He smiled, and the corners of his eyes crinkled. Before she could say anything though, Mellissa and Duvall had served themselves and, having caught sight of them, joined them at the table.

  “How do you feel this morning, Jemma?” Duvall asked. It seemed odd, this softer side of Duvall that she’d never seen before, and it made her feel a little uncomfortable.

  “Not too bad. A bit stiff and sore, but otherwise alive, which I guess is a good thing. I think that’s one of the benefits of living in the future. It doesn’t take too long for the body to heal.” The words were casual, but she watched him carefully.

  “You gave us a fright.” Mellissa leaned forward, grabbing her hand
and holding it lightly. “I’m pleased it all ended okay though.” She smiled at Jemma with watery eyes.

  “Yeah, I gave myself a bit of a fright too.” Jemma laughed nervously. “So, how long ’til we catch up with the rest of the fleet?”

  “Ahh, there has been a slight change of plans, but we don’t need to discuss that today. You’ve three days sick leave, so pop by my office Friday and I’ll fill you in. 0800 hours, ready to resume duty. You too, Raven. I will need you and Chowd.”

  She understood that meant the discussion had ended and bowed her head, picking at her oats slowly, thinking about what it could possibly mean. Under the table, she felt Raven grab her hand, and it steadied her. She refused to give the rush of support any extra credibility though. With great care, Jemma pushed away thoughts of any disciplinary action for the loss of the craft.

  After a while, she pushed the bowl aside, and Raven looked at her. She nodded in silent agreement at the question in his eyes, and they rose together. She wished she’d somehow missed the enquiring look Mellissa and Duvall shared. Jemma and Raven deposited their bowls at the service point and left the hall together, heading back down to Raven’s cabin.

  He slid his hand over the palm-print reader, and the door whooshed open. She took a second look and was surprised to see it sported a color so different from the rest of the ship. The door shut, and Raven walked behind her, winding his hands around her. Slowly, he pulled her back against his body. She soaked up the heat from him. She turned her head, and there was his mouth, calling to her somehow, and she had to taste it. She turned in his embrace as their mouths met and clung, soft and filled with a promise she so wanted to accept. He deepened the kiss, and she started to drown in the emotions that rose within her.

  His hands had moved down her back, cupping her bottom and pulling her, molding her to him. His erection nudged against her belly, and she felt her body heat in response. One hand released him to touch his face. He lifted his mouth from her lips and traced soft kisses over her jawline and down under her chin. She lifted her head back, allowing him better access. She burned in his arms and tried to breathe, but the sheer heat of him stole the oxygen from her lungs, and she panted. Oh God, he was so good at this lovemaking gig. He lifted his head as she gulped for air.