Starfire Page 12

  Elara left the room, but Raven sat for a few minutes pondering the assurance she had given him. By Eshra! He certainly hoped she was right.

  With a sigh, he rose and moved toward his desk screen, engaging the comm system. “Fraser to engineering. I’ll be in my office for some time. If you need me, ping me through the system. Fraser out.” He sat staring at the screen, knowing it would take some time for him to focus and concentrate on his role.

  * * * *

  1700 hours the next day came around mighty quickly, Jemma thought as she lowered herself into the seat at the conference table. She noted that Raven was missing and wondered where he could possibly be.

  The door chimed, and he strode in. For a moment she saw nothing but the handsome man she desired. Sure, he was a little grimy with his hair plastered to his head, but even with that, he looked so good she just wanted to hold his hand and accept what he was promising. She was scared though, she finally admitted to herself. What if it didn’t work out? What if she opened herself and it failed? Could she survive that?

  She shook herself mentally; this wasn’t the time or the place. She turned swiftly and focused on Duvall as he sat down.

  “Now that we’re all here, let’s get started. As you’re aware, we need to get to the Alpha Star Colony as early as possible. Raven, how did you get on with looking at the effects of the hyperspace on the array?” Duvall asked.

  Raven looked up from his palm screen, which he’d clearly synchronized with the screen in Duvall’s office. He flicked up some schematics of the Elector, showing the areas under discussion.

  “I went back through the specs and ran a couple of simulations. We should be fine as long as we remain at a constant speed and within the central trajectory. I would be concerned, though, if something slowed us down, or an anomaly caused us to deviate from this narrow corridor. I had Grayson check the charts for possible issues.”

  “Thanks, Raven. Yes, I investigated the hyperspace route and I believe we can set a course that is clear of interference.” A star map flickered on the screen so that they could see the proposed route. “It’ll take an extra day to allow for that, but we can cut our travel time to a week by taking this route.” Grayson used a pointer to track a path on the screen. “Under normal circumstances, traveling in clear space, we would expect to arrive in two weeks.”

  He shook his head and gazed at the people gathered.

  “My major concern with this route is that we’ll be using the hyperspace corridor that skirts past a known black hole zone,” Grayson continued. “There are a few more projections I need to check, but I believe we can traverse it safely, although as Raven has indicated, we will need to remain in the center of the corridor.” He cleared his throat. “I have also been talking with Jemma and Chowd about the amount of time it would take to run the modifications on the shuttle to increase its speed and stealth capabilities in order to complete the dirtside portion of the mission.” Grayson looked in turn at both Jemma and Chowd.

  When Chowd indicated his willingness to allow Jemma to deliver the vital information, she was uncomfortable with the responsibility, although sure of her facts.

  “We looked at the range of modifications that are required.” Images once more flickered on the screen as she held a small palm screen, flicking the images up. “We’ll need Raven in on these modifications, but we believe that a week is sufficient time for us to complete the necessary retrofitting. They aren’t large additions...just a little fiddly. We’ll need to reconfigure the shielding harmonics and remove the extra fitout we put in place to deal with the pirates. Once they’re removed I can be sure we’ll stay under the radar during the entry sequence.”

  She took a breath and looked around. Everyone seemed comfortable with her report.

  She continued. “There seems to be a blindspot at about twenty-five thousand feet in the schematics of the radar used at the base, according to what we’ve ascertained. We ran a couple of simulations, and it seems that as long as we can remain in that range, give or take say twenty feet, we should be able to sneak through without them marking us. It’ll require some difficult flying though to make that work, and most important of all, it will have to be manually flown. To get in, I’ll need a narrow entry profile and it’ll mean at a speed most ships couldn’t manage.”

  She swiped her hand over her eyes, knowing exactly the risks she was going to be taking.

  “No computer auto-flight program could manage with the constant changes of the landscape and the safety protocols would kick in, moving us up or down, depending on the terrain. We’ll be flying outside the acceptable parameters, but I’m sure...” She stopped and drew a breath, calming herself. “I know I can manage it. The biggest issue will be if they get a visual confirmation from a ship or watcher.”

  Jemma looked at Raven, and he smiled slightly.

  “We also need to fit transmission and communications dampeners to the shuttle so that, should we be seen, they can’t alert those at their base via any known electronic or digital interface system.” Jemma finished her report and felt Raven’s hand once more on her thigh. She accepted his support gratefully and released the tension she had built up during the delivery, clenching and unclenching her hands.

  “Sounds like you have that organized,” answered Duvall. “Do you have all the equipment and resources you require?”

  Raven answered in his quiet but firm voice, “We’ll know shortly. I have my staff running through the requirement lists now and they’ll have a report, I would imagine, within the next half hour.”

  “Once we’re underway, there’ll be no further chance for requests of equipment, so be sure to finalize it quickly. If I know within the hour, I can send a requisition to the Admiralty and they should arrive by morning on the intercepting shuttle from Mino. Any questions or queries?” He looked around at the members of the crew. “No? Then moving on to the next aspect of the mission—Meredith Gentry will be joining us in the morning.”

  Duvall looked at Jemma.

  “You may not remember Meredith. She was with us on that mission when you joined us, as Communications and Encryption Support, a position she’ll be filling again. I expect her arrival at 0600 hours. Apparently, the Admiral thought she would be best with us, to continue with her work as the most skilled encryption and decryption professional dealing with Crick Sur Banden and in the Ru’Edanian techniques. She’ll be invaluable in offering backup support, tracking the usual transmission channels to and fro. The Admiralty is giving us every resource they can to ensure we get this bastard.

  “Mellissa will research into exactly what has been going on in terms of the attacks on Alpha Star Colony, their frequency, and patterns to extrapolate. We need to know where the attacks have taken place, how many mining operations have been compromised, and to what extent and exactly what firepower has been utilized. We can collate that data to help us finish the rogues, hopefully once and for all.”

  Mellissa nodded at the instructions.

  “Elara, it’s difficult to know what will be needed on the ground in terms of medic support, so you’ll be providing support after the mission is complete to the populace, the companies on Alpha Star Colony, and the medics. Meredith is bringing a range of SurgiTech items with her and medications, which we feel will be the most necessary. You’ll triage as necessary until the hospital ship and the rest of the fleet has arrived. Once the mission is complete, we can transport any emergency cases that need attention to the hospital ships.”

  Duvall’s face shined with the light of battle, and it was clear he looked forward to the task ahead.

  “Now then, I suggest we run an update briefing at 1100 hours tomorrow. By then we should have started our tasks. Requisition lists need to be on my desk screen within the hour. If they aren’t here by then, you don’t get anything.” He quickly looked around the room. “Dismissed.”

  Everyone filed from the room.

  Raven was waiting for Jemma outside the door as she left Duvall’s office. H
e held out his hand, and after a quick pause, she accepted it.

  “You did well, Jem. Good. You were focused and knew what you were talking about.” He smiled at her, and while she wasn’t sure where this was going, she felt the muscles in her face smile in response.

  “I was so nervous, but this is a great crew that Duvall has around him. It’s no wonder Mellissa feels comfortable here.” She ducked her head, and Raven placed a finger under her chin and quietly pushed it back up. He looked at her intently.

  “Do you? Feel comfortable too, I mean?” His voice was low, and a curl of heat started in her belly.

  “Yeah, I do,” she whispered.

  “Good. I want you to feel that way.” He smiled softly, and she felt like she would melt into a puddle at his feet. He looked at her for a minute longer, his gaze dropping to her lips, and just when she was sure he would close the distance and kiss her, he let go, stepped back, and smiled. “Join me for dinner?”

  She paused for a minute. Doubts chased around in her mind, but ultimately, the time had come to take a risk. She knew it. She could protect herself and her heart and push this man away, or she could take the chance and see where it led.

  “Yes, I’d like that very much,” she whispered.

  His eyes widened slightly, then a triumphant expression crossed his face for just an instant. If she had blinked, she would have missed it, but she was so pleased she hadn’t. He controlled the expression into a grin.

  “Great, I’ll be by your cabin at 1900.” He paused as if he wanted to say something, but he didn’t. He just gave her a wink and turned.

  She slowly turned to make her way back to the cabin. The day seems much brighter, she thought, with a soft smile on her face.

  Jemma reached her cabin, and the high remained. Raven. He remained an enigma to her mind. He wanted everything, and now the rules had changed and she was at sea. What was his tactics and how the hell was she supposed to deal with this?

  She needed advice, but not from Mellissa. That smacked of talking to the boss’s wife, not to mention the fact that she wasn’t ready to resume their old friendship just yet. She felt it would be unfair and awkward to Mellissa, who owed her first loyalty to Duvall, to be burdened with Jemma’s confusion about another officer.

  Jemma sat slowly, thinking. The only other person was Elara. No other person came to mind and she needed someone, anyone, to talk to. She took a deep breath and reached for the comm, hand hovering over the button uncertainly. As the SurgiTech and a doctor, she seemed the best option when there was no one else. It made sense to go to her for advice. Jemma depressed the button and waited for the screen to blink and show Elara.

  “Hi, Jemma. How can I help you?”

  “Umm, I’ve got a problem and need some advice. Are you free now if I pop up to your office?” She could hear rustling in the background. “I mean, if you are busy, I can arrange a different time.”

  “No, Grayson and I were just looking at some details, but he’s leaving now. Give me, say, five minutes?” Elara said.

  “Sure, sounds good.”

  The screen winked off, and she sat looking at it. Well, that was the first step. She stood uncertainly and headed to the sanitary unit, freshening up then making her way to the SurgiTech suite.

  Leaving her cabin, she moved along the decking, listening to the tap of her feet on the metal. Before she knew it, she stood outside the SurgiTech suite. Jemma swiped her palm, not allowing herself time to think. She felt confused and uncomfortable, and heat rose in her cheeks.

  “Come in, Jemma!” Elara called to her as the door silently slid open, and she could see her sitting at her desk screen quickly tapping commands. “Make yourself comfortable and tell me what I can do for you today.”

  She sat and for a moment just wondered what to say. Where do you begin these types of questions? “I have a problem. I don’t know what to do.” The words just tumbled out in a rush. “Raven...umm...wants a permanent relationship, and I just don’t know...how to do it, I guess. I mean, I don’t know anything about families and...” She stopped. How do I say no one ever wanted me? She struggled to hold herself together, because she realized she was shaking.

  “You don’t think anyone would want you? You don’t think you know how to be a member of a relationship?” Elara finished the thought quietly, her face so full of understanding. Jemma was damn pleased there wasn’t a trace of pity showing, just an understanding of her fears.

  “Yeah.” She blushed deeper and hotter than ever before, her skin radiating heat. “I mean, not that I want anyone to feel sorry for me, or anything like that. Because I’ve enjoyed the majority of my life...” She grimaced, realizing that sounded more like she expected to die.

  Jemma hunted for her emotional center, settling the emotions that roiled in her gut.

  “It’s just I don’t know anything about long-term relationships and how to keep them alive.” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “My relationships have always been hot and wild, but they burn out quickly. It’s the way I’ve always lived my life. I’ve encouraged that even, but now? I want more, but don’t know how to make that happen.” She dropped her head into hands that shook, and her eyes burned.

  “Jem, this is understandable, given your background. Can you tell me, did anything specifically happen, maybe when you were a child, that you think may have influenced this belief? Before you say anything, I have to explain that I’m not trained in this area, so this can only be one friend to another. Are you okay with that?” Suddenly Elara hunched down onto the floor next to Jemma, having moved silently from the other side of the desk. Elara touched her hand gently. “Jem?”

  “I’m just feeling really silly.” She sniffed. “Yeah, I’m fine with that. I didn’t know who else to ask. I couldn’t go to Mellissa, you know?” She raised her face to Elara. “But I feel something I’ve never felt before, and I don’t want to hurt him.” She gripped the arms of the chair, her heart thudding so loudly in her chest she was sure Elara could hear it. “I’ve always known what to do before. Whatever it takes has been the way I have lived and the consequences were usually pretty immaterial. But this time it’s different. This is too important.”

  “I think knowing that you need help is a big step forward. But was there something that happened to you that made you feel you had no value?”

  “The nuns knew who my parents were...” She stopped and settled herself once more. “My parents were a nun and a priest. They had an illicit relationship, and I was the result.” She whispered the admission, never having told anyone else that fact.

  Her eyes burned, and she dipped her head to hide the liquid glint she knew Elara would see.

  “They made sure I knew that what they did was wrong, that I should never have been born.” God! How it hurt to share the most secret and worst thing she’d ever known about herself. “Mother Superior in particular used to make sure I never forgot. There was one time, I’d forgotten to do something—I can’t even remember the infraction—and she lost it with me. Told me I was just as feckless and irresponsible as them.”

  She shook her head, trying to clear the emotion from the memory.

  “She made it clear that they’d learned their lesson and didn’t want anything to do with me and that I was only there because they’d begged, otherwise I would have been left in the streets. That was where I belonged, she said, not with God-fearing women. She knew every button and pushed them with great skill.” There were traces of bitterness in her voice, and she looked away.

  With her head dipped, she couldn’t face the pity she expected to see, but Elara grabbed her face and pulled it back, her fingers digging into the soft flesh of Jemma’s face. “She was wrong. Everyone counts. Everyone.”

  Jemma looked at Elara, beyond the scarring she could see on her face and hands and into the green eyes. There was no pity there, but a hell of a lot of anger.

  “Nobody has the right to do that to a child. No matter who or what the parents were or did. No child should pa
y for the mistakes of adults.”

  She could see Elara struggling with her fury over the way she’d been treated.

  “Jem, can we arrange a time, say tomorrow? I want to do some research and reading and we can discuss this in detail then. See what we can come up with? In the meantime, take it slow. See where it leads. Sometimes relationships burn hot and bright but disappear quickly because that’s all they’re meant to be. Others build slowly and are foundations to the real passion hidden from view—a bit like buried treasure.”

  Jemma blinked and watched as Elara grinned.

  “Grayson and I took years, but Mellissa and Duvall’s was quick, yet they’re both working on making it last. Each is different with lumps and bumps along the way. But remember, if Raven wants a relationship with you, he sees the treasure hidden from everyone else.”

  “But what about all the other women from before? I heard there were lots of them,” she whispered.

  “Oh honey, you’re going to have to talk to him about them. But I will tell you, he hasn’t been around as much as he likes to make out. And you need to tell him about your history. Be open. Talk to him about everything, including the bitch Mother Superior. The only way a relationship can grow and bloom is with honesty, working together and sharing your weaknesses and strengths.”

  “What time do you want me here?” Jemma wiped away the few drops that had escaped her eyes with a quick swipe of her arm.

  “Pop along here, say, 1200 hours, and hopefully I’ll have some sort of an idea. Does that work for you?”

  “Sure, that sounds good.”

  Jemma rose from her seat and was surprised when Elara grabbed her and gave a quick, hard hug. Jemma looked at this small woman who had experienced so much pain already herself and wondered at her capacity to give empathy and friendship.

  “Maybe one day I can be like you, Elara.” She certainly hoped so.

  “Jemma, we all have our scars. Mine are visible, because that’s what Crick Sur Banden did to me. Yours are hidden, emotional. They’re just as debilitating in their own way though.” With that, Elara released her and stepped away.